It's gonna be a long thirteen years.

At the library yesterday afternoon with the kiddo because, A) he should be exposed to books and B) it’s a nice warm dry place on a wet crappy day.

So he runs into one of his little friends from Kindergarten. She happens to be a girl.

So my son suddenly switches on, goes into full on showoff mode. Making jokes, regaling her with stories about the stuff they build with blocks, and pretty much transforming into the Life of the Party.

She, for her part, favors him with coy smiles and laughs uproariously at everything he does. Which encourages him to further antics.

Now, I recognize this dynamic. Done the dance myself, and seen it done well and poorly. Nothing new or disturbing here.

But they’re five years old.

I don’t know whether I’m more unsettled at the fact that flirting starts so young, or that the boy just has so much more game than I do.

This week on "Ask A Clergyman:"

Dear Catholic Bishops,

OK, what the fuck?  Why the contraception hate? You do realize that 98% of American Catholics use some form of contraception, right?

Apart from the fact that you really should be barred from discussing morality at all after your multigenerational coverup of child abuse, what could possibly be wrong with contraception? 

I can say, quite comfortably, that I have had all the kids I want in this life. I can also say that I certainly haven't had all the sex I want.  In fact, if I had to list modern advances I would keep after the collapse of civilization, contraception would come pretty high on the list. Probably right after safe drinking water.

And, let's be honest (which I realize goes against your training) but what do you hate more, abortion or contraception?  Because safe, cheap, educated access to the second dramatically reduces the need for the first.