When the Fic Hits the Fan

Time to make me some enemies.

I don't see the point of fan fiction.

Like, at all.

It's one thing to be influenced by another author. We all are. I can often tell a writer's favorite author just by reading his work. Brust was a Zelazny fan. S M Stirling has read a lot of George MacDonald Fraser. The influence is there. People say my fiction reads like a cross between a consumer safety warning, Miranda rights and the back of a cereal box, and I say "Well, that's what I'm exposed to."



Taking somebody else's setting and characters and writing stuff with them seems kinda....creepy. It's like when I was a kid playing with Star Wars action figures. Except if I did it as an adult. And posted it to a website. For writers to critique. And got pissy when people called me on it.

And I was really proud of the scenario where Luke and Han, with the help of the GI Joe team, beat Darth, two storm troopers and a Care Bear to free Leia and Catwoman.

Ok, I used to freely mix my action figures. We'll just call that "non canonical fan fic"

First up, form a legal standpoint, you'll never have a leg to stand on. You'll never be able to sell it, or even post it legitimately, because it's somebody else's copyrighted material. Even if it's brilliant, it will never be wholly yours. The clear, legal exception is parody. My feature Brokeback Mount Doom, where Sam and Frodo examine the master and servant relationship in lurid detail, was pure art.

Second, it looks juvenile. Like my Star Wars example. When we're kids, we imitate. I played Raiders of the Lost Arc and Star Wars and Robin Hood as a kid. I probably did what would be called Fan Fiction today in creative writing in fourth grade. That was largely because I was eight. I had no adult frame of reference from which to write except those I stole from books and movies. If I'd gone with the "write what you know" theory, my stories would have been about building tree forts, drinking chocolate milk and playing Star Wars, Raiders and Robin Hood.

One of the best ways to be able to write well, is to have experiences on which to draw. You can't write a love story unless you've been in love, or even a love scene generally unless you told some girl you were in love. Or you just had a nice car, but that's not the point. When you are young and inexperienced, sure, you steal the love story from Beauty and the Beast or Princess Bride, because that's what you think a love story is.

It's not until later that you learn about the nerves, how hard it is to look nonchalant buying condoms, how cramped a backseat really is, and the whole awkward learning curve from the first kiss to whether to call the next day. Or the actual glow inside when you look at a woman you've been married to for years and still feel that rush.

Third, it's cheating. A lot of effort goes into creating a good solid world and the characters who inhabit it, and it's just lazy to let some other writer do the heavy lifting and then come in and use the stuff.

Now, there's an appeal to using an interesting, unique established setting and great, well developed characters, but there's an appeal to using marked cards, corking your bat, using steroids or getting some guy in a bar to fall for the shoelace trick.

But it's still cheating.

Do yourself a favor. Do the grunt work. Make up your own stuff.

You'll thank me later.

Stole that one from my dad.

Just Talk to People

I recently did an author talk at my local library. It went very well, sold a handful of books, made some new contacts. It just flowed nicely, people had enough questions to keep the momentum up any time I ran down, so it was a nice, informal chat.

This brings me to my main observation with personal marketing. Most people who deal with books are really receptive to new authors.

Let’s face it, nobody goes into running a bookstore or a library for the riches and free perqs and legions of hot groupies. They do it out of a love for books and reading. They want to meet authors and sell books.

The counterpoint to this is that most small bookstores are run by one person, and a very few emp0loyees, so they tend to be busy and easily distracted. This means that while they are happy to talk to you, they are also likely to take ages to return phone calls, to forget who you are when you call them again. Don’t be discouraged. Be polite and understanding and very gently persistent.

Some writer friends of mine asked me for more specifics on how I talk to bookstores, libraries and so on, so I’ll elaborate.

First of all, have some books on hand before you talk to anybody. If the owner of a bookstore is intrigued by what you have to say and wants to stock three copies of your book, be ready to drive them over that afternoon. This kind of spur of the moment deals happens often enough, and you simply don’t want to have to tell a paying customer that you can have copies in a week, or that he needs to order them from the publisher/distributor/wait for you to run off some copies at Kinko’s. I cannot stress enough, have three to five copies in your hands when you talk to a potential seller.

Then, it’s just a matter of introducing yourself.  Be as light and friendly as you can, tell them you are a newly published author, and give them a reason to care. You’re a local author, or your books deals with their specialty, or you went to school or work nearby.

And be accommodating. If they want some books, offer to get them over there today. Deliver on promises.

Neil Gaiman once said that to be successful, you need to be two of three things: talented, pleasant and reliable. All three is great, but you can get by if you have two. Just talent won’t save you if you are an unreliable ass, and so on.  So no matter how good your book is, if you don’t deliver it when you say you will and sound like an arrogant prick, nobody will be interested.

So, my basic pitch is something like:

Hi, I’m a newly published author, (note connection. Local author, alum, slept with some of the same people, was in jail with your brother) and I was wondering if you’d be willing to take a few copies of my new book on consignment. (They love this. Means it costs them nothing if it doesn’t sell, so you get in the store, get the eyeballs, and if you do make sales they’ll want more.) It’s a new sci-fi romance historical thriller about time traveling vampire lesbians at a school for mutant wizards (feel free to strike through what doesn’t apply) and it’s fucking brilliant. It’s like “Dresden Files” meets “Mother, Juggs and Speed.” (Or suitable comparison. “Twilight” meets “A Shadow Over Innsmouth” hasn’t been done yet.)

Standard bookstores want to make 40% of cover price, so make sure you can price accordingly. Once you get there and meet the owner, have a contract of sorts stating what the terms of the consignment are, and what you can be expected to do if they don’t sell. Most bookstores will have one of these ready to go, and would rather you stick to their rules,  but have one in your pocket in case they don’t have a standard policy. Always make sure you know what you’re agreeing to.

After you have books in a shop, link that info. Blog it, facebook it, put a link to the store on your website and tell your publisher or agent or whomever to pass the word. If customers show up and mention that you steered the to the store, the owner will be thrilled he took your stuff. Especially if they drop money on other stuff while they’re there.

If you do sell copies and they ask for more, get them out there as quick as you can, and at that point, suggest maybe doing a signing, reading or whatever. If you’ve moved some books and made the store a few bucks, they’ll be more likely to agree to this, and if you’ve proven reliable, they’ll feel better about scheduling an event with some assurance you’ll turn up.

Once you have a contact, you have a place for any new stuff you do publish. But do not call every week to see if your stuff has sold. I keep a log of where I have copies and go through it monthly, and check up. That’s not excessive and it shows you’re engaged, but not stalking them.

So, in a nutshell, just talk to people. Small places are more likely to be receptive, since the guy who makes the decisions is the guy in the store, not a district manager a time zone away which may be the case for a big chain store. They also want to appeal to local tastes and that angle is an easier sell.

And the worst they can do is say no.

It’s not like we’ve never been said “no” to.

Author talk and book signing

Author talk resounding success. Easily made as much as I would have sleeping on the ambulance for that same hour and a half.

Coming to terms with being a professional writer.

I just received my first ever legitimate royalty payment for Out of Nowhere. It wasn’t "Change Your Life, Quit the Day Job" money. More like "Here, Go Buy a Week’s Groceries" money, but still nothing to sneeze at.    I had gotten a few “Here, Go Buy a Cup of Coffee” payments from the cheapskates at Quantum Muse, but this was my first payment where calling it three figures didn’t involve counting numbers after the decimal point or converting to Lire.   

This has prompted some soul searching about money and pay and whether or not this makes me a professional. I suppose it does.

Unfortunately, a life spent as a member of the working class has prepared me very badly for a career as a writer.

I’m no stranger to work. I’ve been working for wages since I was 15, and most of my adult life I’ve worked more than full time. A full time job with overtime plus a part time job is something I’ve come to accept, and not find daunting. So why does the idea of working as a writer seem so challenging?  Compared to being a Paramedic or fixing broken water lines in the dead of winter or the Marines it’s not physically demanding, it’s done inside where it’s nice and warm, to be brutally honest the stakes are lower, since I can always rewrite a scene, and there are fewer chances to get fired for threatening a co-worker.

The daunting aspect for me is the gnawing dread  that I might be working for free.

As a lowly wages slave, the one truth you cling to is that if you show up, dressed to work and put in the effort, they have to pay you. If they keep you late, they have to pay you more. It may be hard work, uncomfortable work, and the pay might be lousy, but they have to pay you for the hours you put in.

I’ve never worked on commission, because I just can’t force myself to face the fact that I might put in a full day, and if the fish aren’t biting, I may go home empty handed. If I’m going to be compensated like a hunter-gatherer, I think I should have the dress code and flexible hours of one.

So how does this relate to writing, you ask? How did I force myself to write a novel when I wasn’t on the clock?

Well, writing isn’t work, per se. Writing is release, catharsis. It’s the exorcism of the voices in my head.  It’s a visceral, vital act of creation that can be painful and difficult and exhilarating and triumphant.

It’s also a way to show the universe I’m more than a wage slave.

It’s less a job than it is like a relationship with a crazy girlfriend. It’s effort, and it has ups and downs, and sometimes you wonder why you stick with it, but the good parts are so good you just can’t leave.

So the writing part isn’t really like work.

It’s the rest of it. The editing is a little like work, but that till can be rationalized as the “we need to talk” part of the relationship. It’s hard, but you get through it and don’t expect to be paid.

No the work is the promotion. The synopsis. The query letters. The submissions. The endless hours hunting agents and publishers. And after the books is out and done and ready to buy, it’s the promotion. Begging for reviews, for links, for the opportunity to hawk and flog and pander to sell the results of your labor of love. To grovel to people to accept this copy of your blood sweat toil and tears made solid and please review it honestly.

That’s work.

And that’s where my working class soul starts wondering what the hourly rate is. And since my soul only speaks working class, terms like “building a following” or “generating leads” or “return on investment” all sound like “Nada, bro. You're getting hosed.”

It’s like digging ditches and being paid in scratch tickets. You could win $100,000.00! But you won’t. You’ll wind up with a pocket full of Try Agains and the occasional win will be $5 or a Free Ticket.
                               
So now I’m confronting the need to put in effort for no guarantee of remuneration. It’s a struggle, but I’m taking baby steps.

Like writing blog posts.   

New Plan for the Publishing Industry...

They're going to stop rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic and start colluding against icebergs.

There has been a lot of moaning by publishers and big bookstore chains about how e-books and Amazon are threatening to put them out of business. E-books are outselling hardcopy books, Amazon is undercutting  prices, e-books sell for less, so the profit to the publisher--oh, yeah, and some other guy...Oh! Right, the author-- is lower.

Doom and despondency all around.

What I'm not hearing at all is whether total book sales, e-books included, are up or down. Paperbacks are down, yes. And despite the handwringing, that doesn't mean a damn thing. CD sales are down as well, but people still buy new music. Eight track sales may never recover.

If the publishing industry as a whole is selling more books, whether through Amazon, Apple, brick and mortar or whatever, that is a net boon to writers. The potential audience is growing. People who live out in the sticks, people in countries where their native tongue isn't the standard, all can now get any book any time, via online e-book sales. This is a Good Thing.

And Amazon isn't piracy. People pay for the e-books. So the author gets something, and with the longer reach, the author should get a piece of greater overall potential sales.

E-books should not cost the same as print. Yes, the author worked just as hard on it. So did the editor. But there are savings in production, shipping, storage and returns. This is truth. And an e-book is less valuable to the consumer, since it's harder to lend, you can't sell it at a yard sale or donate it to the local library when you finish it.  If an e-book is $10 I will stick to print. And I will buy half as many books as if I can get a $4.99 e-book.

Maybe the publishing industry should try to sell more books, encourage more reading among the next generation (say what you like but the Harry Potter and Hunger Games series have done all writers a great service by introducing recreational reading to more young people) than trying to ensure they get the same cut they always have.

They need to stop rhapsodizing the longbow and crying when the enemy bring a machine gun to the field.
Amazon sells a boatload of books. Let's encourage the selling of a boatload of books.